Hiding at the Frenemy
by kibele
Summary: Greece is fed up with both his broken economy and the EU pressure, so he takes the opportunity of EU focusing on Cyprus' recent downturn in economy to run away to hide and relax a bit... at Turkey's place. Mildly coarse language.


Most people would assume otherwise but the truth is, Sadık Adnan, or as the world knew him "Turkey", was borderline obsessive compulsive when it came to cleaning. Thus, the huge party he threw the other day to celebrate the spring festival, Nevruz, and some rather well-going peace negotiations in his land, had led him to stay indoors for the next two days, cleaning up all the mess. Strangely, though the party had not gone truly crazy this Nevruz (in the sense that nobody was shot or killed, you know), it still had turned to be quite crazy and his house was a wreck afterwards; surely to a person as skilled as himself in housework it was still no big deal, but how the heck was he supposed to clean up and repair all the burn marks on the ground floor? He decided that may be next year he was not going to do the whole jumping over fire thing, who cares if it was a centuries old tradition, it killed his flooring every single time. Surely they could limit this specific ritual to the garden area solely but some guests always managed to re-enact it within the house as well. Well, as they say, crazy Turks.

After two days of hard work the whole house was in order; the last part that was left – the kitchen – was also cleaned. He gave a content sigh as he put two pieces of the left-over baklava on a plate. He had locked himself to the kitchen since afternoon to finish cleaning, he sure deserved some sugar, so all those who mocked his slowly expanding belly could just fuck off.

Whistling silently and happily he moved towards the living room but the immediate scene that welcomed him almost caused him to drop the plate of baklava and the glass full of water to floor. He luckily did not; he had just cleaned the floors that morning afterall.

With an irritated frown on his face, he put the plate and the glass onto the coffee table right in front of the large modern-styled sofa, then turned to the creature – a certain Greek man – who had occupied his favourite sofa, sleeping soundly in an almost fetal position that one would surely find cute but not him. Instead, he shouted: "Oi!"

Nothing happened, so he shouted again: "Oi! Hey! Come on wake up you idiot!"

"Oi! Who am I talking to you?!" he bent a little over the sleeping man and snapping his fingers on his forehead violent, "Ouch! What the heck?!" - the Greek man finally opened his eyes. "God you are always so violent..."

"Violent? Of course I am violent, anybody would be violent to trespassers. What the heck are you doing here Heracles? How did you even get in?!"

"Trespasser? How did I get in? You are kidding right..." mumbled Heracles as he slowly moved to sit upright:

"First of all, you are Turkey so we cannot really regard any of your property to be 'private' as you yourself is the definition of 'public' in this land; thus, your house is not a private property but a public space so anybody entering would not be trespassing. Secondly, when was the last time you locked your door anyway? You never lock your doors and we both know that everybody enters your place so easily... then they hop to me over you, which by the way is especially a big problem for me now."

"What the heck?! Did you come here to pick a fight or something? So what if we have some immigration issues, I mean the hell, I am very hospitable so I leave my doors open, is that a problem? What is it to you anyway? And trust me, me leaving my door open is no excuse for you to come in and start lecturing me. Oh and this is my home – Sadık Adnan's home – not just Turkey's so the hell it is my private place."

He was pissed – as meeting with Heracles always made him – so he grabbed the glass of water he had brought to drink after devouring his baklava but as he drank the water, the plate was already taken by Heracles anyway.

For some time they stayed silent as Sadık calmed his nerves and Heracles nibbled on the delicious baklava.

"Gaziantep?"

"Of course, who else could make baklava this great."

"My people?"

"Oh yeah, sure, your people make the best baklava and I make the best sushi in the world!"

Silence. Silence was more infruating with Heracles than fighting was; their norm was fighting and disputing violently and immensely, silence was just irritating.

"No serious, what's up? What are you doing here?"

"Hiding."

"From what?"

"Oh really? Guess who could I be hiding from? Of all places, in your home!"

"Hmm... oh... ah... I see. They are not done with you yet?"

"I don't think they will ever be done with me. Luckily they are more interested in Cyprus at the moment though. So I thought I could slip out a bit, relax while they are focused on Cyprus."

"Luckily? That's a bit harsh. I would neeeever say something like that and regard it as an opportunity for myself, if Cyprus was mine. I mean you sure suck, just leaving him alone to face those guys... especially Germany."

"Says the man who sold Cyprus to Arthur in the first place."

"I did not... sell him."

"Rent?"

"No... argh, do you have to be so negative? It was more like temporarily leaving your child at some relative or some foster family while you try to get things together at your home."

"For money."

"You want to be thrown out?!"

"Whatever..."

This puzzled Sadık; he was sure that Heracles would come up with another smartass comeback; why was he being so silent and pacifist now? It didn't suit their relationship.

"Is it that bad? Are they pushing you hard?"

"It is that bad... the unemployment is so high and there really is not an immediate way out. My people are getting angrier and angrier, some even want to get out of EU. But I don't think Germany and others care about it that much not that I blame them personally, we all do what our bosses ask us to do and feel what our people feel... I just feel disappointed, disillusioned I guess like my people. It is worse than the sickness economic downturn brings. You are so lucky you are not in EU."

"Lucky I am not in? Dude, I have been trying to get in for like decades you know. I guess they just can't over the past, so what if I invaded a couple of them a couple of times, I mean they kept on invading each other and they are doing fine now. Whatever... yeah, I feel a bit lucky for the first time that they actually blocked my way in, not sure if I will push so hard for it from now on."

"You don't really need to I mean your economy is quite strong these days and you already set up reliable commercial and diplomatic relations with many non-Europeans too so... You have so many friends and you're always travelling around and I see your companies adverts at airports all the time... It would be cool you were in though of course; well hypothetically, it is not really cool for me now."

"Ah, it is not cool for you now simply because you are in a tight position! Don't worry, I am sure things will get better, I mean sure Ludwig is such a mama's boy when it comes to Merkel but hey, we all know he is such a softie inside and I'm sure he is also trying hard to figure a way out for you. And I mean dude, you are hard-working, I know that better than anyone we lived under the same roof for centuries for God's sake, I am sure you going to go over and it will all be cool and sassy in you guys' small, elite club again."

Heracles giggled which caused not just a twitch of an eyebrow and some redness over Sadık's face but also a panicked "What?!"

"Are you trying to cheer me up?"

"Me? You? Heresy!"

"You said I was hard-working and that I was going to get over it."

"Well, you were complementing me! You said my economy was all dashing and hot and that I am the new wonder boy in a way."

"Boy? More like an old man. In any case, I was just stating some facts, no complements."

"Well, I was not trying to cheer you up, I was just stating some facts too."

"Sure."

"Sure!"

Silence. As Heracles put the now empty plate on the coffee table again Sadık remembered some old memories; surely, there were times in the past that they were silent. One would get hurt or feel down, and instead of fighting they would sit together silently, drink or eat stuff, or just nap, sometimes simply stare outside watching the nature and people. Those were simpler times, happier times; may be... But this, this was not so bad afterall either. He sighed.

"Well, I want to drink some proper Turkish coffee and since I am the epitome of 'hospitable', I will have to make one for you as well. You leaving now would lead me to be deemed a poor host, so you are not allowed to go anywhere until I once again prove how an amazing host I am. Do not move an inch."

As he started whistling again slowly and silently, moving towards the kitchen, Heracles leaned to the side of the sofa, half lying, half sitting and gave a sigh for the first time in weeks. Slowly closing his eyelids, a content smile appeared on his face finally, and he uttered in silence:

"It is called _Greek coffee_, idiot."


End file.
